30 hours on a bus with no air conditioning later I am in Cairns. I spent the first day looking around the town. I went in to an aboriginal art shop and knocked down a display of hand carved and painted boomerangs, purchased two things out of guilt, signed up for a dive course that cost me 700 dollars, purchased goggles, a snorkel, and a head strap thing for another 150, spent two days in a pool, smell like chlorine, met Bob, am sitting at the McDonalds on the internet...with a stranger, and am going on a boat tomorrow to complete 9 dives in 3 days at depths of 18 meters and one time to 30 meters.(this is 90 feet for us)
I can now, theoretically, SCUBA dive. I also know that I could theoretically lose my air at a depth of about 60 feet and can do nothing but dump my extra weight and breathe out on my way to the surface. This will assuredly result in the Bends where Nitrogen bubbles will come out of my blood and collect in joints thus causing me to scrunch up in pain...horrible pain. If I don't breath out then the gas in my lungs will expand and escape my lungs possibly getting lodged in my brain and killing me. I could also, theoretically, not have anything bad happen to me and spend 3 wonderful days seeing one of the 7 wonders of the world. Let's go with the second option.
Bob is a man I met tonight at dinner who is here in Australia for the third time...bird watching. We discussed the coldest weather we've ever been in and seen, where we are going, where we've been, and what we are doing here. Bob is from New Mexico and won't go back to South Africa because "three big Zulus stepped out from behind a car, sandwiched him, and pointed an automatic gun in his face and told him to leave as quickly as possible."(that last little bit was paraphrased)
I've eaten more peanut butter and honey in the last week than I did in 4th grade...and that was a lot. I'm staying at JJ's Backpackers which costs me 24 dollars a night for room and free breakfast and dinner. Dinner is provided by a place called the Woolshed which gives us free food, expecting us to drink in excess...I do not participate in the optional alcohol purchase. I think the Woolshed used to actually be a woolshed...kinda cool. Last night I witnessed the international goldfish racing championships. This is conducted by placing two goldfish in parallel troughs and then letting their "jockeys," who purchased the chance to be a jockey through an auction and are really just people with straws, blow bubbles behind the fish to convince the fish to go in a given direction. Ireland destroyed the competition and the USA lost to Canada in a stirring performance after annihilating an earlier opponent. The winning "jockey" won a free bungy jump...cheers to Ireland.
The mullet is popular in Cairns. I guess it makes sense...business up front...party in the back. I am personally disturbed.
I am playing a game where I stare people down who are walking by and I see who has more guts based on who makes eye contact longer. I win most of the time because I actually am aware of the game. Plus, they are moving so sometimes I get the added benefit of seeing them stumble after foolishly trying to challenge me. They are then forced to break contact and I win. I did lose once...he was a worthy opponent.
The beaches would be nice here...but there are salt water crocodiles...who will kill you...and stinger jellyfish...who will kill you. This results in ironic "lagoons," we call them pools, in the middle of town, in paradise.
Australians like to do things differently than normal people. They drive on the 'wrong' side of the road. Bed linen is called Manchester. Everyone is a mate and college is high school with upper education being university. (I like the mate thing and now movies look strange because they are driving on the 'wrong' side of the road. Life is relative.)
I am slowly learning to do live translations and speak the language...you know, English...it's a work in progress.
Thank you for the words of encouragement, jokes, and just words in general. It's nice to know that people read this thing. :)
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Friday, July 24, 2009
I've given up being a wayward cowboy and am now on to become a beach bum. My hair is growing and I believe at the minimum length required to step foot on a beach in North Australia. I plan to attack Cairns, pronounced Care-nz not Canes despite the Australian's inability to pronouce the letter 'R', with the force of the North and leave them wondering how a country boy from North Dakota could possibly be such a natural at SCUBA diving. My one concern is what will happen to my face when I get a tan with a goatee and then shave it off when I get back to America. Look for one of the strangest "farmers tans" to come out of Australia in the last decade soon.
I am currently staying with some friends of the family, Kathryn and Frank, of Toowoomba. They are beautiful people and have welcomed me with open arms. While here I've visited a Japanese Garden and been to the Cobb and Co. Museum. Today after my visit to the home of horse and buggies that is the museum, I had my first Lamington and my first Double Sasperilla softdrink. After drinking that black licorice in a bottle I travelled to the post office and discovered that to send less than one Kg of stuff consisting of two books, a cd of pictures, and a computer lock home it will cost me 23 dollars and change. I opted to send that stuff and leave a chain, some velcro, and a poncho here. Leaving the stuff you don't want is a good way to thank you right? I've discovered that Toowoomba is a large place. It is my belief that I've done more walking in these two days than in all of my time spent as a bull chaser/feeder. It is, fortunately, more flat. Appreciate life's little blessings I suppose.
Finally, it was brought to my attention today that this neat little idea of taking pictures with a cowboy figurine might have taken a turn for the pathetic. I was struck with the problem of explaining how it was that I took pictures in one of those frames where all you see is your face and some other body today as Bully and I switched 'bodies'. I realized that the picture of me setting up the camera to delay the shot and then rushing behind the wooden cutout with a ceramic figurine like some lunatic with an imaginary friend might just cause some people to pause. Thankfully those who witnessed the debacle went on their way with no comment. I have no doubt, however, that I was the topic of people's conversation this afternoon. Maybe not for long, but I definitely made the the discussion board and that is something to cherish.
Think about the last time you know strangers talked about you in an odd way and smile because it didn't hurt you any and it brightened someone else's day. Wish me luck down under in down under as I learn to breath canned air. Cheers!
ps: I found my fingerless gloves. Thanks for worrying...
I am currently staying with some friends of the family, Kathryn and Frank, of Toowoomba. They are beautiful people and have welcomed me with open arms. While here I've visited a Japanese Garden and been to the Cobb and Co. Museum. Today after my visit to the home of horse and buggies that is the museum, I had my first Lamington and my first Double Sasperilla softdrink. After drinking that black licorice in a bottle I travelled to the post office and discovered that to send less than one Kg of stuff consisting of two books, a cd of pictures, and a computer lock home it will cost me 23 dollars and change. I opted to send that stuff and leave a chain, some velcro, and a poncho here. Leaving the stuff you don't want is a good way to thank you right? I've discovered that Toowoomba is a large place. It is my belief that I've done more walking in these two days than in all of my time spent as a bull chaser/feeder. It is, fortunately, more flat. Appreciate life's little blessings I suppose.
Finally, it was brought to my attention today that this neat little idea of taking pictures with a cowboy figurine might have taken a turn for the pathetic. I was struck with the problem of explaining how it was that I took pictures in one of those frames where all you see is your face and some other body today as Bully and I switched 'bodies'. I realized that the picture of me setting up the camera to delay the shot and then rushing behind the wooden cutout with a ceramic figurine like some lunatic with an imaginary friend might just cause some people to pause. Thankfully those who witnessed the debacle went on their way with no comment. I have no doubt, however, that I was the topic of people's conversation this afternoon. Maybe not for long, but I definitely made the the discussion board and that is something to cherish.
Think about the last time you know strangers talked about you in an odd way and smile because it didn't hurt you any and it brightened someone else's day. Wish me luck down under in down under as I learn to breath canned air. Cheers!
ps: I found my fingerless gloves. Thanks for worrying...
Friday, July 17, 2009
Everyone is gone, I have no plans, and it’s a little scary. I’ve found that it doesn’t happen very often in my life that I have absolutely zero idea about where I’m going next. I know what that says about my personality. I’m a control freak and I probably need to let go, a little, once in a while. That being said, I am very uncomfortable with the idea that tomorrow might come and I won’t have a plan to deal with anything other than “we’ll see how this works out.” As of now, here’s what I know:
1. Tomorrow will result in me not knowing anyone in Tamworth
2. I do not currently have a destination
3. I do not currently have a job
4. I do not currently have enough money to fund the rest of my 1.5 months in Australia
5. I do want to continue working as a Jackeroo
6. I would prefer to do so in the North on a large station
7. This is difficult because Jackeroos do this as a living and I am doing this as a summer job
8. The fact that nothing is open on the weekends is inconvenient
9. The fact that nothing is open at night is inconvenient
10. I always land on my feet, a little worse for the wear, smelling like the proverbial rose.
That last point is important because if this were not the case, I might have much more reason to “freak out” as the kids say these days.
Now for an update as it has been a while since I’ve been allowed to interact with you civilized folks in the real world. This last week marked the end of many things. It marked the end of my first job in Australia, the last time I would see my five friends the bulls, and probably the last time I will teach someone else how to ride a horse. It also marked the beginning of some great things. I now have a person in Norway that has offered me a good time should I ever get there and seems like a really good guy. I learned my first Norwegian. “Jeg skal knuse deg!”(pronounced: yai skull knooseh die) means “I will crush you!” I finally feel as if I have some accomplishment when it comes to horse riding and this is the first time I can remember being kind of excited about lack of direction in my life…shocking isn’t it?
The last horse I rode was named Matrix. She is the most dominant horse in the herd and it shows. There is not a moment when she is not trying to own you or another horse. She is also extremely responsive and well trained. She was a pleasure to ride and work with, once you got past that nasty habit of biting, and is now represented in a bracelet I had made of the horse’s I’ve ridden tail hair. It’s pretty cool if I do say so myself…and I do.
Most of the scars I’ve made since going to the farm are now fully healed and mark the places where I proved I can really work…or that I’m just not that adept at working with my hands. Whatever way you look at it, it’s nice to be whole once again and I plan on staying that way for a while…not that one ever plans to lop off a finger. I am however short a few items and long on some others. In my haste to pack yesterday I forgot my dress belt, a pair of fingerless gloves, and a jacket. You might ask, “why do you want a dress belt on a farm, what do you need fingerless gloves for, and which jacket?” or you might not. The point is I wanted them with me and now they are not…with me. I also need to send some things home. It turns out that after you’ve read books, you don’t want to carry them around with you for the rest of the trip…weird. I am also still stuck with a bobble-head moose and two shot glasses that are supposed to be presents but are currently dead weight. Aye aye aye…woe is me. Serves me right I suppose…that’s what I get for thinking that anyone but a Minnesotan would want a moose bobble-head. Maybe I’ll pawn it for food money…
I hope that this post finds those of you who read it well and wish me luck as I embark on a diet of McDonalds and peanut butter and jelly.
Peace out,
Nicko
1. Tomorrow will result in me not knowing anyone in Tamworth
2. I do not currently have a destination
3. I do not currently have a job
4. I do not currently have enough money to fund the rest of my 1.5 months in Australia
5. I do want to continue working as a Jackeroo
6. I would prefer to do so in the North on a large station
7. This is difficult because Jackeroos do this as a living and I am doing this as a summer job
8. The fact that nothing is open on the weekends is inconvenient
9. The fact that nothing is open at night is inconvenient
10. I always land on my feet, a little worse for the wear, smelling like the proverbial rose.
That last point is important because if this were not the case, I might have much more reason to “freak out” as the kids say these days.
Now for an update as it has been a while since I’ve been allowed to interact with you civilized folks in the real world. This last week marked the end of many things. It marked the end of my first job in Australia, the last time I would see my five friends the bulls, and probably the last time I will teach someone else how to ride a horse. It also marked the beginning of some great things. I now have a person in Norway that has offered me a good time should I ever get there and seems like a really good guy. I learned my first Norwegian. “Jeg skal knuse deg!”(pronounced: yai skull knooseh die) means “I will crush you!” I finally feel as if I have some accomplishment when it comes to horse riding and this is the first time I can remember being kind of excited about lack of direction in my life…shocking isn’t it?
The last horse I rode was named Matrix. She is the most dominant horse in the herd and it shows. There is not a moment when she is not trying to own you or another horse. She is also extremely responsive and well trained. She was a pleasure to ride and work with, once you got past that nasty habit of biting, and is now represented in a bracelet I had made of the horse’s I’ve ridden tail hair. It’s pretty cool if I do say so myself…and I do.
Most of the scars I’ve made since going to the farm are now fully healed and mark the places where I proved I can really work…or that I’m just not that adept at working with my hands. Whatever way you look at it, it’s nice to be whole once again and I plan on staying that way for a while…not that one ever plans to lop off a finger. I am however short a few items and long on some others. In my haste to pack yesterday I forgot my dress belt, a pair of fingerless gloves, and a jacket. You might ask, “why do you want a dress belt on a farm, what do you need fingerless gloves for, and which jacket?” or you might not. The point is I wanted them with me and now they are not…with me. I also need to send some things home. It turns out that after you’ve read books, you don’t want to carry them around with you for the rest of the trip…weird. I am also still stuck with a bobble-head moose and two shot glasses that are supposed to be presents but are currently dead weight. Aye aye aye…woe is me. Serves me right I suppose…that’s what I get for thinking that anyone but a Minnesotan would want a moose bobble-head. Maybe I’ll pawn it for food money…
I hope that this post finds those of you who read it well and wish me luck as I embark on a diet of McDonalds and peanut butter and jelly.
Peace out,
Nicko
Friday, June 26, 2009
So I helped my bosses ex-wife move from one town to another. During the process, his ex-wife’s stepson let out the most rancid, horrifying, hair-curling, fetid smell any human has ever been exposed to…at the age of eleven. The Australian Government is currently investigating the incident to discover if the boy can be charged with ‘Terroristic Activities’ and Queen Elizabeth just officially revoked the Crown’s tie with their former penal colony. Big Timbo commented on the odor saying, “He shat himself” and “I think he dropped his guts.” This writer has never before, and hopes never will again, been exposed to a sensual overload of this magnitude. It is my sincerest wish that the boy is cured of whatever ails him and this world is rid of that kind of biological warfare.
In other news, I have purchased an oilskin to assist me in my daily fight against nature, have grown a goatee, and am bit by bit developing a stain on my hands from working with fire pit ash, grease, cow shit and the inability to wash them adequately. I will now officially look like an Australian Jackeroo.
I am currently sitting in the local mall with free wireless access.(even better than the library) I knew that I hauled this laptop across the ocean for a reason. It is the first time I’ve had internet access in two weeks and the last time I will have access for another two weeks. This is because the schedule is strange for the few weeks due to the break that happens in July. I just completed an “Advanced Natural Horsemanship” school and will have two more “Jackeroo” schools before I’m done. My horse’s name is Booligal, is much, much, bigger than me, and knows it. We are slowly developing respect for each other and he is teaching me just how little I actually know about working with horses. He is also teaching me about how to work with horses. I have not received a bite or a swift kick in the pants from him yet but this is more from quick reflexes and vigilance than lack of effort on his part. Every time he puts his ears back I am to yell and if that doesn’t work, hit him hard or really yank on his bridle or halter. I feel as though any muscle I’ve gained here is more from that than anything else. It is happening less so this is a positive sign.
We’ve gone to another team penning competition which was cool. It is quite literally like watching an artist at work when Tim is on horseback. It seems as though he and his horse are more connected than anyone else there could ever be. I guess that’s what happens when you spend the last 40 years working closely with the animals. I also discovered that my stirrups have been too short and this is a big reason why I couldn’t keep my feet in them when Booligal would trot or canter. I still flop around like a fish out of water but at least I don’t stand as much of a chance of falling off sideways.
Tonight I am going to two movies. First I am going to “The Voyage That Shook the World” and then to “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.” Both are about evolution so I think they will complement each other nicely. For anyone who happened to be on a bus this last spring break, here’s to you. I’ll be thinking of you regardless of your specific affiliation or destination.
In other news, I have purchased an oilskin to assist me in my daily fight against nature, have grown a goatee, and am bit by bit developing a stain on my hands from working with fire pit ash, grease, cow shit and the inability to wash them adequately. I will now officially look like an Australian Jackeroo.
I am currently sitting in the local mall with free wireless access.(even better than the library) I knew that I hauled this laptop across the ocean for a reason. It is the first time I’ve had internet access in two weeks and the last time I will have access for another two weeks. This is because the schedule is strange for the few weeks due to the break that happens in July. I just completed an “Advanced Natural Horsemanship” school and will have two more “Jackeroo” schools before I’m done. My horse’s name is Booligal, is much, much, bigger than me, and knows it. We are slowly developing respect for each other and he is teaching me just how little I actually know about working with horses. He is also teaching me about how to work with horses. I have not received a bite or a swift kick in the pants from him yet but this is more from quick reflexes and vigilance than lack of effort on his part. Every time he puts his ears back I am to yell and if that doesn’t work, hit him hard or really yank on his bridle or halter. I feel as though any muscle I’ve gained here is more from that than anything else. It is happening less so this is a positive sign.
We’ve gone to another team penning competition which was cool. It is quite literally like watching an artist at work when Tim is on horseback. It seems as though he and his horse are more connected than anyone else there could ever be. I guess that’s what happens when you spend the last 40 years working closely with the animals. I also discovered that my stirrups have been too short and this is a big reason why I couldn’t keep my feet in them when Booligal would trot or canter. I still flop around like a fish out of water but at least I don’t stand as much of a chance of falling off sideways.
Tonight I am going to two movies. First I am going to “The Voyage That Shook the World” and then to “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.” Both are about evolution so I think they will complement each other nicely. For anyone who happened to be on a bus this last spring break, here’s to you. I’ll be thinking of you regardless of your specific affiliation or destination.
Friday, June 12, 2009
As I sit here in the wonderful library with FREE internet access, thank you tax payer dollars, I reflect on my past week.
I once again attended the Jackeroo School where I was supposed to teach other people to do things I can't do.
I successfully "galloped" which it turns out is only a fast canter.
I was told, by a student, not to tell her how to do things and to not look at her husband.
I then witnessed their subsequent decision to have a divorce which took place after a very childish argument about who was a worse person.
I am getting used to not showering every day.
I ate two double cheeseburgers and a large fry from "Mackers" last night and it was awesome. The large cups are the size of our mediums and you have to pay for refills which was not awesome.
If I buy a hat and bring it to the Jackeroo School it will have bull testicles put in it. I do not know how to handle this situation.
It turns out that I am only going to be at the school until the middle of July and then I will have to find another place to go. Hmmm...
I wake, every morning, to the lovely sounds of "Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy" by Big and Rich. Listen to the song and you will understand why it never gets old to listen to two grown men sing "DUM-DE-DE-DUM, DE-DE-DUM-DE-DE-DUM, DE-DAA-DAAAAADUM-DE-DE-DUM, DE-DE-DUM-DE-DE-DUM, DE-DAA-DAA-DAA-DAA-DAAAA!" before you hear anything else that day.
I hope that you have taken care of yourselves and that your summers are all the best ever...
cheers,
Nick
I once again attended the Jackeroo School where I was supposed to teach other people to do things I can't do.
I successfully "galloped" which it turns out is only a fast canter.
I was told, by a student, not to tell her how to do things and to not look at her husband.
I then witnessed their subsequent decision to have a divorce which took place after a very childish argument about who was a worse person.
I am getting used to not showering every day.
I ate two double cheeseburgers and a large fry from "Mackers" last night and it was awesome. The large cups are the size of our mediums and you have to pay for refills which was not awesome.
If I buy a hat and bring it to the Jackeroo School it will have bull testicles put in it. I do not know how to handle this situation.
It turns out that I am only going to be at the school until the middle of July and then I will have to find another place to go. Hmmm...
I wake, every morning, to the lovely sounds of "Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy" by Big and Rich. Listen to the song and you will understand why it never gets old to listen to two grown men sing "DUM-DE-DE-DUM, DE-DE-DUM-DE-DE-DUM, DE-DAA-DAAAAADUM-DE-DE-DUM, DE-DE-DUM-DE-DE-DUM, DE-DAA-DAA-DAA-DAA-DAAAA!" before you hear anything else that day.
I hope that you have taken care of yourselves and that your summers are all the best ever...
cheers,
Nick
Friday, June 5, 2009
So I got a job
I'm now at the library in Tamworth because I got a job at the Jackeroo School I attended and don't have internet access there...yep
It was pretty sweet. The people I met this week were hysterical. Tom, Fergus, and Ali were from Scotland and all re-f'ing-diculous. Someday I'll go visit them. They promised to put me up and show me a good time...sweet. We had a great week, learning to ride horses, herd sheep and cattle, fence, do pasture improvement, and care for tack and now I'm going to teach other people how to do it. HAHA! ...right
I took my stitches out last Wednesday...that hurt. The intern that put them in made them really tight so when I went to pull them out, they had started to be taken over by skin...not cool intern. We all have to learn, but next time maybe not on me. The plus side is that it's healing fine and I think will be back to normal in a couple weeks. YAY!
In other news, since I'll only have access to the world once a week, I'll be updating here to let you all know I'm still alive. I hope all of your summer travels have gone off without a hitch and I will see you on the flip side.
ps: my horses name was Sticker and I've named my stolen picture idea. His name is Tiny "Blue-Eye" Marron.
It was pretty sweet. The people I met this week were hysterical. Tom, Fergus, and Ali were from Scotland and all re-f'ing-diculous. Someday I'll go visit them. They promised to put me up and show me a good time...sweet. We had a great week, learning to ride horses, herd sheep and cattle, fence, do pasture improvement, and care for tack and now I'm going to teach other people how to do it. HAHA! ...right
I took my stitches out last Wednesday...that hurt. The intern that put them in made them really tight so when I went to pull them out, they had started to be taken over by skin...not cool intern. We all have to learn, but next time maybe not on me. The plus side is that it's healing fine and I think will be back to normal in a couple weeks. YAY!
In other news, since I'll only have access to the world once a week, I'll be updating here to let you all know I'm still alive. I hope all of your summer travels have gone off without a hitch and I will see you on the flip side.
ps: my horses name was Sticker and I've named my stolen picture idea. His name is Tiny "Blue-Eye" Marron.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
It's been kind of a rush the past couple of days. Two hostels and now I'm in Tamworth about to go in to the bush. The train from Sydney to Tamworth took me through some of the most amazing country I've ever seen. We went through what looked like oyster farms, don't quote me on that, prairie like home, foothills like in Colorado, scrub land like Mexico, and mountains like you would expect in some Brazilian rainforest.
I also had a conversation with a retired lawyer/debt collector/bus driver named Shirley who was half sweet grandmother type and half spit fire. If you know my mom, imagine her in 20 years. She informed that I was a "naughty lad" for not having seen my own country before seeing another but that it was fine as long as I fixed the situation when I go home. I agreed that I was ok with that deal and we moved on. She was orginally from New Zealand, has two children, and informed me that they wanted her there but she wanted to be in Sydney...so there. She also let me know that whenever she wondered if she should go to the opera in Sydney she would ask herself the question "Am I worth it?" The answer is always "yes."
The fact that I'm going in to the bush means I won't have e-mail or internet access or access to my mobile until after next Friday. I wish those of you who read this blog, and those of you who don't though you'll never know it, the best and I'll let you all know how it goes next weekend. Good luck with all that you're doing and I'll look forward to letting you know what a Jackeroo actually does! :-)
I also had a conversation with a retired lawyer/debt collector/bus driver named Shirley who was half sweet grandmother type and half spit fire. If you know my mom, imagine her in 20 years. She informed that I was a "naughty lad" for not having seen my own country before seeing another but that it was fine as long as I fixed the situation when I go home. I agreed that I was ok with that deal and we moved on. She was orginally from New Zealand, has two children, and informed me that they wanted her there but she wanted to be in Sydney...so there. She also let me know that whenever she wondered if she should go to the opera in Sydney she would ask herself the question "Am I worth it?" The answer is always "yes."
The fact that I'm going in to the bush means I won't have e-mail or internet access or access to my mobile until after next Friday. I wish those of you who read this blog, and those of you who don't though you'll never know it, the best and I'll let you all know how it goes next weekend. Good luck with all that you're doing and I'll look forward to letting you know what a Jackeroo actually does! :-)
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