So I helped my bosses ex-wife move from one town to another. During the process, his ex-wife’s stepson let out the most rancid, horrifying, hair-curling, fetid smell any human has ever been exposed to…at the age of eleven. The Australian Government is currently investigating the incident to discover if the boy can be charged with ‘Terroristic Activities’ and Queen Elizabeth just officially revoked the Crown’s tie with their former penal colony. Big Timbo commented on the odor saying, “He shat himself” and “I think he dropped his guts.” This writer has never before, and hopes never will again, been exposed to a sensual overload of this magnitude. It is my sincerest wish that the boy is cured of whatever ails him and this world is rid of that kind of biological warfare.

In other news, I have purchased an oilskin to assist me in my daily fight against nature, have grown a goatee, and am bit by bit developing a stain on my hands from working with fire pit ash, grease, cow shit and the inability to wash them adequately. I will now officially look like an Australian Jackeroo.
I am currently sitting in the local mall with free wireless access.(even better than the library) I knew that I hauled this laptop across the ocean for a reason. It is the first time I’ve had internet access in two weeks and the last time I will have access for another two weeks. This is because the schedule is strange for the few weeks due to the break that happens in July. I just completed an “Advanced Natural Horsemanship” school and will have two more “Jackeroo” schools before I’m done. My horse’s name is Booligal, is much, much, bigger than me, and knows it. We are slowly developing respect for each other and he is teaching me just how little I actually know about working with horses. He is also teaching me about how to work with horses. I have not received a bite or a swift kick in the pants from him yet but this is more from quick reflexes and vigilance than lack of effort on his part. Every time he puts his ears back I am to yell and if that doesn’t work, hit him hard or really yank on his bridle or halter. I feel as though any muscle I’ve gained here is more from that than anything else. It is happening less so this is a positive sign.

We’ve gone to another team penning competition which was cool. It is quite literally like watching an artist at work when Tim is on horseback. It seems as though he and his horse are more connected than anyone else there could ever be. I guess that’s what happens when you spend the last 40 years working closely with the animals. I also discovered that my stirrups have been too short and this is a big reason why I couldn’t keep my feet in them when Booligal would trot or canter. I still flop around like a fish out of water but at least I don’t stand as much of a chance of falling off sideways.

Tonight I am going to two movies. First I am going to “The Voyage That Shook the World” and then to “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.” Both are about evolution so I think they will complement each other nicely. For anyone who happened to be on a bus this last spring break, here’s to you. I’ll be thinking of you regardless of your specific affiliation or destination.