Last time I posted I commented on my feeling light headed and dizzy. I would like to announce that this feeling has fled like money from my bank account while I've been in Cairns although in the interim I thought I might have Swine Flu, thanks mom, and when I had ruled that out, that I might have some type of expanded lung disease or the bends. Fortunately for me, my joints, and my lungs I do not have any of those things. I was tired and dehydrated, as originally thought, and am now feeling %100! Ok, maybe not %100, but at least %83.

Today I traveled to the Daintree Rainforest on a day trip. This was led by Vlad, our rather disgusting tour guide. I met two more Americans on the trip. I'm beginning to understand the rest of the world's dislike for us. I have not met an American on this trip who was, what I like to think of as, normal. They have all been rude, tasteless, and impatient. For a country that thrives on welcoming foreigners to our shores, we do not put on a very good face when visiting their countries. This is not to say that all of the other people I have met have been accommodating and friendly. The English, in particular, have been pretty on par with Americans. The other European countries are all pretty on par with each other and Australians have been representative of what I believe America to actually be like. They are a little more trusting and friendly once you get to know them but have a similar superficial attitude towards people. Anyway, I digress. The rainforest was brilliant. There were more shades of green than I knew existed and the intimidating plant matter met all of my expectations. We did not see any waterfalls which was dissapointing but the rapids we visited were nice. The mountain stream was dutifully clear and the mangroves we walked through had many interesting ways of living in water...as you would expect. My favorite was the "snorkel" root system.

When I returned to my hostel I continued my battle to convince them that they have shorted me on a night of accommodation. You see, when I went on the dive trip, I reserved a night for when I got back. The very kind lady, who remembers my name when I go in to the office, said something to the effect of, "Would you like to pay us now so that we have your metaphorical important parts in a vice?" and I of course responded, "I would love to give you my credit card information so that I can not possibly back out of this deal even if I wanted to." or something like that. I don't remember the exact wording so you'll have to forgive me. That was however the gist of it. When I returned I discovered, to my consternation, that I had not "paid" for a night and that I owed them money. I had to pay as I needed a place to sleep and also somewhere to hold my belongings so that I could listen to slightly innapropriate jokes from Vlad. How else was I going to be slightly offended? Tonight the desk provided me with a list of all of the things I have paid for in the last week, of which the night in question was not one. Now let me assure you that this has all been done with a surface politeness that you expect to see in a good midwestern town in true Minnesota nice fashion. We have never gotten tense and have always "assumed" that we are the party in error. This could not be further from the truth. I quite distinctly remember the conversation wherein the kind lady with a knack for names procured my unconditional commitment to stay for another night with them upon my return. She quite distinctly does not. Since I obviously don't hang on to payment slips and have no way to track my payments online, due to a delay of an alarming amount of days and a currency exchange, I have no evidence and seem to be caught between a rock and a hard, poky, spiny, dark, and wet place. Really it's the equivalent of a rock and a cave floor at the bottom of the Mariana Trench. They do, after all, already have my money. The agreement was unconditional. I hereby admit defeat.

In a happier vein, I am leaving Cairns tomorrow to go to Atherton where Vicky, daughter of Frank and Kathy, is going to generously provide me with a place to stay for a little while. She even offered her house as a residence for me while she vacations at the end of this week. That is entirely too much trust for me and I am taken aback at her willingness to entrust all of her worldly belongings to a complete stranger but alas, this is the charm of the Australian people.

I have decided that Cairns is a boring resort town that has nothing to really offer itself unless your main pastime is to not remember your past times. This would be followed by a day of rest, not on the beach due to crocodiles, and then repeated. Thankfully my mother filled all of our vacations with too many things for me to be happy merely relaxing in paradise. I need horrible airplane museums and decrepit old women to walk me through planetariums in order to be truly happy. I want to visit the zoo everywhere I go despite the fact that they all have the same four animals, a penguin with no real ice, an elephant that is retired from Barnum and Bailey's, a tired looking monkey, and a tiger that paces back and forth just waiting for his chance to rain punishment on any human foolish enough to go in there unprotected. It is these things that I want and that Cairns can not provide. I will thus head south after my stint in Atherton and hopefully spend the rest of my time with those people I met when I first got here and who greeted me and gently inducted me in to the Australian way of life. Now I just have to let them know that...