So I helped my bosses ex-wife move from one town to another. During the process, his ex-wife’s stepson let out the most rancid, horrifying, hair-curling, fetid smell any human has ever been exposed to…at the age of eleven. The Australian Government is currently investigating the incident to discover if the boy can be charged with ‘Terroristic Activities’ and Queen Elizabeth just officially revoked the Crown’s tie with their former penal colony. Big Timbo commented on the odor saying, “He shat himself” and “I think he dropped his guts.” This writer has never before, and hopes never will again, been exposed to a sensual overload of this magnitude. It is my sincerest wish that the boy is cured of whatever ails him and this world is rid of that kind of biological warfare.

In other news, I have purchased an oilskin to assist me in my daily fight against nature, have grown a goatee, and am bit by bit developing a stain on my hands from working with fire pit ash, grease, cow shit and the inability to wash them adequately. I will now officially look like an Australian Jackeroo.
I am currently sitting in the local mall with free wireless access.(even better than the library) I knew that I hauled this laptop across the ocean for a reason. It is the first time I’ve had internet access in two weeks and the last time I will have access for another two weeks. This is because the schedule is strange for the few weeks due to the break that happens in July. I just completed an “Advanced Natural Horsemanship” school and will have two more “Jackeroo” schools before I’m done. My horse’s name is Booligal, is much, much, bigger than me, and knows it. We are slowly developing respect for each other and he is teaching me just how little I actually know about working with horses. He is also teaching me about how to work with horses. I have not received a bite or a swift kick in the pants from him yet but this is more from quick reflexes and vigilance than lack of effort on his part. Every time he puts his ears back I am to yell and if that doesn’t work, hit him hard or really yank on his bridle or halter. I feel as though any muscle I’ve gained here is more from that than anything else. It is happening less so this is a positive sign.

We’ve gone to another team penning competition which was cool. It is quite literally like watching an artist at work when Tim is on horseback. It seems as though he and his horse are more connected than anyone else there could ever be. I guess that’s what happens when you spend the last 40 years working closely with the animals. I also discovered that my stirrups have been too short and this is a big reason why I couldn’t keep my feet in them when Booligal would trot or canter. I still flop around like a fish out of water but at least I don’t stand as much of a chance of falling off sideways.

Tonight I am going to two movies. First I am going to “The Voyage That Shook the World” and then to “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.” Both are about evolution so I think they will complement each other nicely. For anyone who happened to be on a bus this last spring break, here’s to you. I’ll be thinking of you regardless of your specific affiliation or destination.

As I sit here in the wonderful library with FREE internet access, thank you tax payer dollars, I reflect on my past week.

I once again attended the Jackeroo School where I was supposed to teach other people to do things I can't do.

I successfully "galloped" which it turns out is only a fast canter.

I was told, by a student, not to tell her how to do things and to not look at her husband.

I then witnessed their subsequent decision to have a divorce which took place after a very childish argument about who was a worse person.

I am getting used to not showering every day.

I ate two double cheeseburgers and a large fry from "Mackers" last night and it was awesome. The large cups are the size of our mediums and you have to pay for refills which was not awesome.

If I buy a hat and bring it to the Jackeroo School it will have bull testicles put in it. I do not know how to handle this situation.

It turns out that I am only going to be at the school until the middle of July and then I will have to find another place to go. Hmmm...

I wake, every morning, to the lovely sounds of "Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy" by Big and Rich. Listen to the song and you will understand why it never gets old to listen to two grown men sing "DUM-DE-DE-DUM, DE-DE-DUM-DE-DE-DUM, DE-DAA-DAAAAADUM-DE-DE-DUM, DE-DE-DUM-DE-DE-DUM, DE-DAA-DAA-DAA-DAA-DAAAA!" before you hear anything else that day.

I hope that you have taken care of yourselves and that your summers are all the best ever...
cheers,
Nick

So I got a job

I'm now at the library in Tamworth because I got a job at the Jackeroo School I attended and don't have internet access there...yep

It was pretty sweet. The people I met this week were hysterical. Tom, Fergus, and Ali were from Scotland and all re-f'ing-diculous. Someday I'll go visit them. They promised to put me up and show me a good time...sweet. We had a great week, learning to ride horses, herd sheep and cattle, fence, do pasture improvement, and care for tack and now I'm going to teach other people how to do it. HAHA! ...right

I took my stitches out last Wednesday...that hurt. The intern that put them in made them really tight so when I went to pull them out, they had started to be taken over by skin...not cool intern. We all have to learn, but next time maybe not on me. The plus side is that it's healing fine and I think will be back to normal in a couple weeks. YAY!

In other news, since I'll only have access to the world once a week, I'll be updating here to let you all know I'm still alive. I hope all of your summer travels have gone off without a hitch and I will see you on the flip side.

ps: my horses name was Sticker and I've named my stolen picture idea. His name is Tiny "Blue-Eye" Marron.